In a recent self-improvement survey on the Advanced Life Skills blog from the data gathered by the Best online dating sites, relationships were the top area in life that most people wanted to improve in life. The good news is that people felt that this area could be improved on and they are interested in learning how to improve this area of life.
The Need to Improve Love Relationships
It’s no surprise that relationships came up as being the top area in life that needs improving. It’s unfortunate but when stress rises, the first thing to get booted to the wayside is our partner.
Maybe it’s because we know he or she will always be there no matter what, so we know we can do it. Or it’s because we just don’t realize our actions. In either case, it’s not the right thing to do because the repercussions are that the effects of it last much longer than the neglect.
Once the stress is gone, the feelings are not. Being treated badly or treated at all hurts emotionally and can linger for quite a long time and will accumulate if love work is not done on a consistent basis.
What Is Love Work
Love work is what I call taking the time to be in your relationship with your partner. This is another issue common in marriage and long-term relationships.
It’s funny but we all work at our jobs every day, we have to work in our homes to keep it nice, with our children to teach the correct ways to live but we don’t do love work to keep our relationships thriving. Makes sense, doesn’t it?
I suppose we all believe that relationships should just exist on their own and grow without any sort of cultivation. Now, do you know of anything that grows with no care? Even weeds receive the care of mother nature, don’t they?
Love Work Exercise
Now, that we have laid the groundwork for the necessity of love work. I would like to give you something you can try in your love work.
Think about how you would like to improve one area of your relationship. What is the one area that upsets you the most about the relationship? Write it down. Now, write down how it can improve. Invite your partner to do the same thing. Make a pact with your partner to exchange lists. But before you do, understand that the issue written down is not to criticize the partner or the relationship but to bring up something that you would like to improve upon. It’s important to understand that this is not an attack and that both of you are just trying to do something to make the relationship better for both of you. Exchange lists. Talk about whether or not you agree to make the changes. If one of you doesn’t agree, talk about why, and try to make a compromise. Can you tweak it a little? Make an adjustment until you are both satisfied.
You can continue to do this once a week…it’s a great way to do love work. Come back weekly for more tips on love work!